When I'm Gone
by Aint It Fun
Summary: The mid-season finale crushed me. In my mind, this is what happened when Daryl and the others finally rescued Beth and Carol from the hospital.


I saw her blonde hair first. Yellow, wispy strands fallin' outta her ponytail. Blonde hair that she was always pushin' outta her eyes and tuckin' behind her ears. It felt like a dream, seein' her standin' just across the room after spendin' so many days and sleepless nights wonderin' if I'd lost her forever. It took just about all the strength I had to keep my feet planted, to keep myself from goin' to her right then and there. Her eyes found mine and I took in a deep, shaky breath. Her eyes were wide, both relieved and afraid. I felt my pulse speed up. She was right there, but it still felt about a million miles away. I forced myself to look away from her and back at Rick.

"One of our people for one of yours." I heard the lady cop, Dawn, say calmly.

Rick nodded curtly and motioned for one of the handcuffed officers behind him to step forward. The man shuffled across the hallway, passing Carol as she was wheeled over to us. I clasped her hand when she was finally close enough and she gave me a small, weak smile.

"Now the other." The Dawn said again, her lips stretched into a thin, tight line.

Carol squeezed my hand gently as my eyes snapped back towards Beth. Her eyes locked onto mine and I held my breath as she was slowly led across the small space towards us. I heard her let out a quiet, desperate soundin' cry as she finally got in reach, launchin' her tiny body towards me. I stepped forward and grabbed her, crushin' her into my chest.

I felt her warm breath on my neck as she shuddered, cryin' quiet tears into my shirt. I pushed my fingers into her yellow hair, cradlin' her close to me and pressin' my face into the top of her head. I'd never felt anythin' like the relief I felt right then in that moment.

"It's okay, girl. I got you now, everythin's gonna be fine." I mumbled into her hair. I could feel a dozen pairs of eyes on us, but for once didn't care. We got Beth back. I got my girl back.

"Time to go." I heard Rick say.

Beth slowly untangled herself from me, but stayed pressed close to my side. I gave one final, dirty look towards the hospital people as we turned to leave.

"Not so fast…I want Noah back as well." The cold voice stalled me right in my tracks and I felt Beth stiffen too.

"He's stayin' with us." I grunted, shootin' the kid a look. He'd earned his place. Like hell he'd go back to this shit hole.

"He's one of my wards. He belongs here." Dawn said, still usin' that same low, calm voice. It reminded me of the sound of the calm before a bad storm. Like she was fightin' somethin' back. Hidin' somethin' just under the surface.

"No, that wasn't part of the deal." Rick growled, throwin' up an arm as Noah tried to walk past him.

"It's okay, Rick. You have a daughter to get back to." I heard the kid answer in a hushed voice, the pained look on his face doin' nothin' but fuelin' my hatred for the hospital and everyone in it.

"Wait!" Beth cried out suddenly. "It's not fair!"

"Beth." I said quickly, warnin' her to stay still but she was already pushin' away from me. I could almost hear the alarm bells soundin' in my head as she eyed Dawn with a dark, furious expression before wrappin' her arms tightly around Noah. When she let go, she strolled calmly over to the woman. The defiant expression on her doll like face made my stomach roll. "Beth." Her name wasn't any more louder than a whisper as I took a step towards her.

"I get it now." I heard her say. She raised her fist.

Then, the sound of a gunshot and Beth droppin' to the floor. I thought my heart had stopped, that maybe the entire world had stopped. My eyes stared at her tiny, crumpled body on the floor before I was lookin' hard at the lady cop. She looked shocked, shakin' her head like it had been some kinda misunderstanding. I felt an uncontrollable, hatred suddenly writhin' inside of me, fightin' to get out. I heard Rick sayin' my name, but it sounded all fuzzy like. I ignored him, unholsterin' my gun and takin' the shot.

She dropped and the blood pooled around her.

I was only half aware of every gun in the room suddenly bein' drawn as I fell to my knees. My hands shakin', tears blurrin' my vision as I grabbed Beth and gently rolled her onto her back. I felt the warmness of her blood on the side of her head and my breath caught in my throat. No…

Eyes fluttered open and looked up at me in confusion. She reached up and felt her ear, where the bullet had grazed past…just barely missin' it's mark.

"Jesus, Beth." I choked out. I grabbed her up into my arms as she looked beside her at the lifeless body of the cop and back at me, disoriented and confused. I was only half away of somebody yellin' for guns down. I grabbed Beth in my arms and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck. She was warm and alive. Alive. I thought for a second my knees might buckle and just give out. I'd almost just lost her again. This time for good.

"Anyone that wants to leave can come with us!" Rick yelled as I brushed past him, Beth cradled in my arms. Blood matted her blonde hair. She'd been lucky. I half expected to hear shots ring out behind us, but there was nothin'. It was finally over.

I could feel Beth's eyes on me as I led the way out of the hospital, takin' the stairs down to the lobby and out into the bright sunlight. Parked in front was a huge, red firetruck and there was Maggie, Glenn, and the others. Waiting.

"Beth!" I heard Maggie cry out. I gently set Beth down onto her feet, keepin' my hand on the small of her back to steady her until her sister had wrapped her in a huge hug, cryin' into her shoulder. I stepped out of the way, watchin' as the two of them finally got the reunion they'd been waitin' for. I knew I'd already gotten mine, but there was still more I wanted to say. Things that had kept me up late at night, beatin' myself up for the things I didn't say before I lost her. She met my eyes over Maggie's shoulder and smiled softly and for a quick second,it felt like any doubt I'd still had inside me, any unsureness, had disappeared. Now if only I'd somehow get the nerve to say what I'd meant to all that time ago, when she sang to me in the quiet, empty rooms of the funeral home.

* * *

><p>"I was wonderin' where you went off to." I recognized Beth's soft drawl, voice like honey. She smiled and sank down onto the firetruck's bumper next to me. Our shoulders brushed and I could feel the warmth of her skin through her shirt. Her hair was damp on one side, her ear bandaged. Somebody, most likely Maggie, had cleaned her up. The color was back in her face. She looked more like herself now that she was back where she belonged.<p>

"Just thought you'd might need some more time alone with your sister." I said quietly, glancin' towards her. She looked thoughtful, starin' at the crumblin' city buildin's. It was a while before she said anythin' else, sittin' quietly next to me as the sun slowly set. I kept tryin' to find the right words, the right way to tell her how I'd never stopped lookin' for her, how I'd never stopped hopin' I'd find her. How I felt somethin' for her in a way I'd never felt about anybody else. Every time I thought I'd finally figured it, the words died in my mouth.

"You know, I was so scared I'd never see anybody ever again." Beth broke the quiet. She had her legs crossed at the ankles, her feet hoverin' just a few inches off the ground. She shifted, anglin' herself towards me. "I was scared I'd never see you again, Daryl." That one sentence hit me hard, the last thing I expected to ever hear was that Beth Green was thinkin' about me just as much as I'd been thinkin' about her.

"I knew I'd find you. Was only a matter of time." I grunted, starin' at the dried up dirt that matted my boots. "Should've had more faith in me."

She smiled and I remembered thinkin' to myself not that long ago that I'd do anything to see her smile like that just one more time. "So I was right then."

I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "'Bout what?"

She ducked her head a little, her hair fallin' like a curtain into her eyes, before lookin' back at me with that big smile still on her pretty face. "When I told you how you were gonna miss me bad when I was gone."

It took only a second for me to remember that moment. Back when it had been just the two of us, alone, tryin' to make it. Tryin' to survive. Back when I'd finally realized I could make it through all the shit the world had to throw at me, no matter how bad and how dark. As long as Beth was there to make it a little brighter. I finally looked back at her. We locked eyes for a long, silent moment and my pulse thudded beneath my skin. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and tucked a blonde strand of her behind her ear before pressin' my palm against her cheek. "You weren't wrong." I said. I wanted to close the rest of the space between us, I wanted to pull her closer and show her how right she was. My eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips. I hesitated. She was too good for me though. Honest and pure. All the things I wasn't.

I started to pull away and she suddenly curled her fingers around my wrist, keepin' my palm against her warm cheek. "Don't, Daryl." She whispered. "You don't have to hide from me." She took a deep breath before goin' on. "I know you're afraid to let me get close, but that's what I want. So let me."

Her eyes searched mine, her expression both hopeful and afraid. I moved closer to her, close enough to feel her breath against my face, and carefully pressed my lips against hers. Right away, she was leanin' in closer and circlin' her arms around my neck, sighin' against my mouth. I pushed my fingers into her hair, as her lips moved slowly against mine. She was warm and soft, and tasted sweet and made me wonder why the hell I'd waited so long to let myself do this.

It felt over too quick when we finally pulled away and I found myself starin' into her wide blue eyes, her cheeks flushed pink and I didn't think I'd ever seen anythin' so right in my life. "I don't know how good I am for someone like you, Beth." I finally admitted, hesitantly.

Beth smiled and brushed her lips against mine a second time. "Daryl Dixon, you're the only thing in this world that's right for me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_**[MIDSEASON FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD]**_

_So I don't know if everyone saw the mid-season finale last night, but it totally destroyed my soul and crushed all my dreams of Beth and Daryl romance...I was so hoping they would find each other and have this great reunion and fall in love and IT WAS ALL RUINED. Plus, I adore Beth. Her character truly evolved into something amazing and Emily Kinney will be missed._

_So of course I went home and decided to write the midseason finale the way I wish it would've happened. Read and enjoy. Perhaps this will evolve into something else, or maybe it'll stay a one-shot. Much love, biscuits._

_-Nikki_


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